"Resistance", or "How I learned to Overcome My Insomnia and Sleep Before Muse"

Begin the most interesting weekend of my junior year- as read through my eyes only! TRANSCRIBED!

(Wednesday) *pakupakupaku*

I came home on my break between classes to the most interesting of visitors: flies! This was quickly remedied with the aid of bleach! I have to admit, nothing gets the blood pumping like mass insecticide! After that it was off to stats lab, administering the thankless job of running the anime club as a board member, and all that comes with it (you can imagine)! Following that bit of fun, I had packing and cleaning to attend to, and of course the fun of orchestrating an entire weekend home, while balancing my remaining responsibilities.

(Thursday)

All morning and afternoon in the train, bus, and car. I slept on Jake's shoulder, and didn't remember much.

(Friday)

Shayne and I met up early after work (I had walked over to my grandparents house to see Chloe and my grandpa) following which a sushi feast ensued. Dear god, I had missed being home. Following our mouth-first-dive into the ocean, we headed over to the theatre to catch Scott Pilgrim (a movie Shayne practically had to drag me to see, but upon viewing, I found to be perfectly enjoyable).

(Saturday)

I woke up far later than was proper on this day; met up with Sam, walked to the coffee shop near by house and ordered the "red eye" drink-cold, which we took to the park and consumed under the shady trees. My afternoon was something out of a Jack Johnson song. We poured out hearts out on playground sand and reveled in the comfort of an understanding ear. I swear to god, soulmates exist in the bodies of best friends. After that, we headed back, and caught a ride to the mall, where we would eventually meet up with Alex and Anthony (who I have missed desperately and plan to import onto Mercedian soil as soon as either has a break in their schedules). And let it be said that walking through the mall with several male hangers-on has its advantages...mostly that instead of having a single GBF, the advice of an entire gaggle allows for the same quality of style and expertise to be communicated, but through many lenses effectively the fashion equivalent to drinking a cup filled with espresso vs. a cup filled with coffee only.

In any case, that moment ended beautifully, and so began the evening, during which I began to prepare for my upcoming Muse concert (tomorrow- well today but who's counting?) We immediately took to Fry's for a little last-minute-shopping, and then headed back home for a night of anime and setting the itinerary, which so far seems to me to be rather straightforward.

As you can tell, this is a very exciting, positive time in my life, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Pictures and updates to come...

Hemorrhage

An unambiguous text sent me reeling, my only supplication to the gods being a half-choked 'please'. I'm sure Wesley would have been proud, too bad for me the ending written into my script wasn't as favorable as his. These days I have been made to consider very seriously that perhaps the world is as brutal and random as my existential mind cares to believe it.

That's all.

Tryst with Destiny

Cooking is one of the most nerve-wracking enterprises created by man (yes, that's right, man). At present, I'm waiting for my french toast to be done ( I just finished a new recipe that I'm quite nervous about, you see, and it's effecting the cohesion of my thoughts- what a bother!

( I guess I had to go to that place, to get to this one..)

Its too easy to bitch about the negative. I refuse. I'm doing well, but the words don't play as well in the absence of tragedy.

The truth is life isn't made wholly of euphoric highs, and abysmal valleys. These petty woes and stings visited upon us while living won't end the world, nor even seriously distress her. Wasn't that the bastardization of a Churchill witticism? The point is we should stop acting like it. Though internet narcissism would allow for it. I can imagine it perfectly, a generation of Audrey Hepburns; stylish, thin, and vastly delusional. We all must see ourselves as the here-and-gone-with-the-wind, fate-blown heroine, or some poor disenfranchised youth, trapped in a bullshit adult-run world, like James Dean. Poor, helpless (but gorgeous) us!

But try as we might, we are not James Dean. And we are not ending the world with our complaining. Nor am I, which is in a way why I recognize the futility of sending my negativity into the void like this, day after day, complaining about my stupid, insignificant problems.

More practically and without editorializing, I'm fighting my way back from a small low, little, like a fumbled note against the scope of the symphony. And that is all. On occasion, these setbacks happen, and will not be force enough to disrupt the overall healthy flow of energies in my life as I progress towards the inevitable, perfected form of myself which I am to become.

To say no more, I will close with this: our fortune is what we make it. I'll make it my way, through humility or hubris. Either or both ways, this is far from over, World.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Time is passing, as Jack reminded me, with or without my permission. And for his observations I am grateful; he's right. Thank god school is slowing down for this week, I feel like it dragged me into it and took control, completely dominating my schedule and the flow of time. A pause every now and again can be rather helpful for the purposes of reflection and assessment of one's place in the world.