The Sam Also Writes

Few things are as thoroughly satisfying as a vigorous workout; among them being the difficult night spent at one's desk. God smiles on the diligent work which is done with vigor and the intensity of mind present only in one who delights in the task. I went into the (valley) because I wanted to live deliberately; and now Mr. Thoreau's words echo back to me with the air of truth they were meant to carry. I came here to accomplish something more than the degree I will soon hold in my hand. I came here to prove to myself that even amidst the elements and the strife, in a place only something as hard as stone could survive, I could find within myself the floating void, within which void resides a flame- and that rarest of qualities- the unimaginable courage born from success through out such trials as only this place could bring.

Keeping in contact with the people I love back home brings out the very best in me, and insodoing, this quiet resolve.

I am grateful to my Sam, and the quaintness in his stories of love and rejection and new love- the vicissitudes of young life as I too am living. And also to Eric, without whom I would be lost to cynicism or blinded by the forest from the trees that matter most to me; in every way he is an anchor back to all that is dearest. These great friends, and Shayne's patient but imperfect guidance are with me as I progress, one step at a time.

Das Klavier

I don't have anything inspired to say today. That might be the toll of exhaustion, or maybe it's the movie- The Pianist. It follows a very delicate, and sensitive artist with soft features and soulful green eyes. His calm, but expressive intonations, the steady and perfectly timed movements of his hands are captivating. I can't help but feel deeply connected to him, and through Adrien Brody's acting I imagine myself a great, and endless love for this soul both immeasurably deep and scarred. The man, I'm sure is nothing like the subtlety and grace of his part. But people can never be as we imagine them, I suppose.

Midterms Hell Hath Descended

As the title implies, the past two weeks have been a flurry of papers, energy drinks, and late night rants. Thank god for the saving grace of sleep once more, and the sane return to schedule. At least one of us is having fun- Shay's trip to blizzcon this week should be fruitful for the both of us, or so is the hope.

Read a Book You Illiterate Sonofabitch

I'm sick, and I have a midterm tomorrow, for which I have minimally studied. Things are looking grim for our embittered heroine. Will she prevail?...tune in next week.

He was the still point in a turning world

This weekend's been amazing, just the calmness and peace that presence has brought me, my dearest friend who I once vowed I couldn't live without. I've missed the presence of competence, and the still mind which I used to rely on so much. It's good, to be back in such a comforting place. But at the same time, it makes me long for a place, and a time that's passed. Quite simply it's something I can never have, an opportunity and a moment that's passed. So now I'll come back from my dreams, but keep my joy, lose my muse, but retain its comfort.

1960; Jackie Help Me...

I have to be up by 9; I'm taking the 9:50 bus to school, and then campaigning for a while. I can't believe I'm going to be out there. I didn't want to get involved, maybe because of my recent brush with the grimy side of politics at the local level, and perhaps still because of my utter disdain at begging for votes. Nonetheless, my presence there today serves a higher purpose, and if that's my role I'm fine with it, mostly. It's a feeling of resignation, my role. But I can also feel peace in it, because I've directed myself here. Enough about that. Most importantly, I've spent the past weeks as a fly-on-the-wall seeing, learning, by proxy, the dark secrets of the student government running my school (that is to say: the absolute scum of the undergraduate earth.)

I passionately want to see this election turn out favorably, though I'm struggling to project an objective indifference, if only to minimize the pressure on 'our' candidates. I'm having a hard time sleeping, because of this forced indifference, this false objectivity in the treatment of the events to come; I'm holding my breath and hoping for the very best, but as to name that end, I can't say. I'm holding my breath for fear of letting it out, for fear that the powers that be should smite my secretly held hopes. This tension is both a very positive force, and a very negative one. . .

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My stomach isn't settling well tonight, I'm a ball of nerves...