It's finally somewhat quiet in my world, and in my head. The steady procession of thoughts through my mind like ants on a path has slowed to a trickle, and I feel a break in the momentum. Mind you, this isn't enough to bring sleep my way. That has many miles to go before it reaches this residence (for reasons quite intimately known by myself, and no others).
The substance leaves me hollow, but at least the words can flow through now. It's so contrived to say that self-destruction is often the facilitator for good writing, but all the same to say so would not be a lie.
Inexplicably my shoulder-blades ache, and the recently omnipresent pain in my chest hasn't lessened-- symptomatic, I suppose of the abuse I've been putting myself through this break. But all things worth having require tribute of some sort, and during these static days, I have only and all of myself to give in destruction to the cause. Time feels at once too short and indefinitely long, which makes me feel oppressively heavy in this world through which I trudge. Though it would be the easy choice,I refuse to stand still; and so to combat the weight of the times, I let Ms. Sontag's sensibilities sweep me away in a whirlwind celebration of the artificial, the banal, and the brave.
That being said, it may seem as if every line, every phrase-- every word is a chemical fueled blathering, this is not so.
It has been a struggle--and not a mindless one.
The combing over of every detail of my life has been ever-present in the background of these events; it has been the impetus for changes I have made, and the changes that are yet to come, and I find it frustrating when such due isn't given, even in retrospect. Because of this, for posterity I will state that this winter will be dedicated to the (oft painstakingly detailed) labour of building up the self I wish to become.
It will be a winter unique from any time previous to now, and at its completion I will stand stark and without need for exposition, a creature made and self-evident for the changes. I make my way now under the wings of a kind (and sometimes smirking cherub) with a new guiding light and a new creative force.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Things change and people change, just as naturally as the seasons change- stasis is unfamiliar and wrong to me. This season came with the loss of an old friend, a sweet-- but overdramatic kid I used to be close to.
It seems now he's too caught up in teenage angst to take responcibility for his actions, and for the people he's hurt. He is in his 20's. I say that to illustrate that, in my eyes, he should know better. Somee people never grow out of it, I suppose. To think the he hasn't, and might not dissapoints me.
I can understand why he is attracted to that coping mechanism, even though I don't approve of it. It's comforting to knee-jerk forgive oneself of all actions by passing on the blame. It's easy, and comfortable to blame the world for ones problems, and it hides any hint of responcibility in the blame.
He isn't by any means the first person I've known to fall into that pit of blind self-absolution, but he is the most recent.
From where I am sitting, he is a pittiable creature, and also he is enviable.
I pity him, because he lives a brutish life more akin to an animal than a man. He exists without introspection or careful thought-- without having to feel the weight of his actions. His choices are by instinct and the consequences are of no object to him. Any malign side-effects are easily passed off as being the fault of another. After that all that is left is to bear them as a victim does. This allows him to justify being powerless, and frees him of responcibility. Simply, that is how he lives.
I also envy him, to a very small degree. It must be nice to live the life of the guiltless, and passive victim, and to never face one's demons.
That isn't the life for me, obviously. I can't cry about how "she left me" or "he crushed my soul"-- and prostrate myself in righteous self-pity. I can't blame away my consequences, or force the burden of my brutish existance on another. I can't blame others for where I am, nor would I want to.
It's sad, but these ideological diferences are seperating us. The outcomes are regrettable, but I can't regret who I am or what I believe to be right. I won't. So I will take my losses as they are, and sing.
Monday, December 27, 2010
The Lover in Your Songs
The beautiful thing about unreal men is the simple fact that they will never disappoint you. They will always be there in a story or in our heads, never aging or cheating or growing obese. They will always hold our hands while we speak, meet our eyes knowingly, and smirk that enticing smirk that smolders just the right way to turn out insides to lime jell-o. And any time they might do something to elicit the slightest bit of ire, they will always find just the right way to sweep us off our feet and, of course, forget any transgression they may have made as though it were never there.
And these men, fictitious agents of that bitch Mab, win us over every time.
They drink strong coffee, and call us 'sugar', and have irresistible cherubic faces that dimple into the most beautiful smiles....- and they exist all in our dreams. When we fall asleep at night, lying next to whom we may, it is their names we whisper with a smile before sleep.
Tomorrow I will awaken with a new purpose entirely. I could never be yours, even in fantasy, but tonight when I sleep I will be the heroine of your fiction.
And these men, fictitious agents of that bitch Mab, win us over every time.
They drink strong coffee, and call us 'sugar', and have irresistible cherubic faces that dimple into the most beautiful smiles....- and they exist all in our dreams. When we fall asleep at night, lying next to whom we may, it is their names we whisper with a smile before sleep.
Tomorrow I will awaken with a new purpose entirely. I could never be yours, even in fantasy, but tonight when I sleep I will be the heroine of your fiction.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Christmas Trees
I'm not thinking about my 21st.
I have this strange attraction to xmas trees, I think ever since I was 10 and used to sneak out of my bed to see it light up at night in the center of the still living room.
Truth be told, that's how I remember the holiday, a warm heater, "White Christmas", and my footie pajamas.
Those were the days.
I have this strange attraction to xmas trees, I think ever since I was 10 and used to sneak out of my bed to see it light up at night in the center of the still living room.
Truth be told, that's how I remember the holiday, a warm heater, "White Christmas", and my footie pajamas.
Those were the days.
Rebel ONE, FIGHT
I've spent the past couple of days fangirling out in my "cave"-- with only Shayne and bursts of mom to break up the solitude.That part has been really nice. Of course there are pressures I have to contend with-- as always, but those aren't worth complaining about, for the moment.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Adventures in the City (KROQ's AlmostAcoustic Xmas adventures)
**These are my adventures in LA-- my people watching thoughts, my reviews of the concert, my hopes and dreams intertwined. It should be read as such.**
These are my thoughts while waiting for the train out of Merced.
The men working at the station are talking amongst themselves. Listening to them is rather amusing- they're talking about Amtrak men who've lost their lives in the line of duty. I had no idea there was such a thing, imagine that. Every line of work has it's heroes I suppose.
A woman with loud, expressive eyebrows and two large faux designer bags just bustled into the station. Her long, black trench flapped wildly as she entered. Her husband (a stout, but formally dressed man) flapped around her a bit also, and then left without any fanfare. The only thing missing from this scene was a toy dog and too-large sunglasses.
Now things are calming down at the station; and I'm listening to the faraway 'dong' of station bells while a modest looking blond tells jokes to the man behind the reception class.
I have half an hour before my train comes.
I am here so early because of ride complications.
Thinking of Winter Break: I absolutely cannot wait. There are things here I wold like to be rid of for a while; there are people as well- senators and civilians alike.
There is an elderly woman and her equally elderly companion sitting across from me. I would like to imagine them old friends from school; now just wizened gossips-- but classy, refined with age.
One applies a matte red lipstick, a deep red wine color that matches her sweater beneath the black leather coat. A delicate gold cross peeks out around the edges of her opened coat, and ascents her attire flawlessly. Her tasteful and carefully maintained look is familiar to me, it reminds me of my own grandmother. In conversation to her companion, I hear her candidly admit her age-- 64 years she wears with impressive dignity.
I love the stories the elderly tell. As my eavesdropping continues, I hear of her experience entertaining a handsome, young soldier, many years ago. I can only imagine what that must have been like. Of course I want to know more, but I assume it's rude to ask when not invited. For this reason I stay as I am, observing and enjoying my place as a fly-on-the-wall.
The station is more busy now, and much more noisy. Three, maybe four conversations are overlapping, and competing for the observer's attention. I let it blend into the background, until the modest blond woman's cellphone snaps me to attention. The tune playing is "Tanks A Lot" by Third Eye Blind. How fitting.
I slept most of the train ride, and when I woke up I almost forgot my planner on the train in my half-awake haze. Of course, that would have meant disaster, considering that is the place where I had been keeping my tickets and travel provisions.
Boarding the bus I was still unsure of my surroundings, but I assuaged my uneasiness with more sleep, for as much of it as I could muster.The road was so bumpy mo notes came out looking like I'd been in the middle of an earthquake writing them, it wasn't pretty.
Following these thoughts, I met Shayne at Union Station, and we proceeded to check in at our hotel. The room we had booked was on the 21st floor-- a floor which required special clearance to reach (it was quite the honor). Of course it also came with an exceptionally well-stocked mini bar and fridge, of which we both took generous advantage. That in itself was glorious, but paled in comparison to the view from the top (an entire wall of the room was dedicated to viewing the city below; it was magnificent).
*The notes below are from the first day in the city, and below that again are the notes from the concert night one.*
The metro car stopped, and as I looked in, there was an entire car of young men in santa costumes, just standing there, chatting! Santas! All Shayne said to my look of shock was "welcome to la". I really love this town.
Spoke to an older man holding a rosary. Shayne says he thinks the man was Armenian; judging by his accent and newspaper I would say that sounds right. He seemed to have a very sensible view of the world, if perhaps a bit cynical. He reminded me a little of Shayne.
The santa mob exited three stops before us.
After that we hopped a fast moving train into little tokyo. I had overdressed for this day out, my sweater was way too warm for a day in the city, but nonetheless, I had an amazing time. We spent some time browsing kino kunia, and then headed upstairs to the second story of the plaza to get ramen. I swear, one bowl could last me an entire day. The sweets shop gave us the most lovely strawberry cheesecake, and a very sweet bottled coffee; it wasn't expensive either. We also bought dango-- my favorite snack. We also visited several anime video and merchandise stores. It was at one such store that I was able to do most of my christmas shopping. I even tricked Eric into telling me what he might like for xmas-- a feat otherwise not possible to accomplish. I managed to pick up the piano collection of FFXIII music I've been after for as long as I can remember. This was anything but a "cheap trip" . We lefty by metro car just as the sun was setting on our outing ...and what an adventure we had.
Then we headed back to the room to freshen up, change, and get ready for night one.
Night one:
A day to remember; it must be hard for them to open to such a bare audience. There are flashing red pins in the audience which makes for artificial red stars in the crowd; its incredibly pretty and wholly mesmerizing. The second song "have faith in me" is amazingly compelling.
Switchfoot: of course they open with meant to live- and then a "sabatoge" cover? I never would have thought to expect that. "Dare you to move" followed- from the middle of the crowd, high notes and all, but not before "stealing" a santa hat, and perching himself atop a mid-level seat, and surrounding himself with adoring fans. Amazing. And then "the sound"- dedicated on the principle of love. How charismatic, transcendent, perfect.
Anberlin on third: I don't recognize their opening song, but the drums and bass are so heavy I can feel the beat pounding all throughout the room and myself. They're really energetic this year, and I believe the crowd feels it as well, the sentiments remind me of falling in "like"- less painful obsession but all of the flirty fancy. The song off their new album is quite good.
The dirty heads:
Apparently this is what fragments of sublime left to do. I didn't know; its too much stoner rock and not enough actual music for my taste. At least sublime has a sax. Although to their credit, they have bongos. That's pretty bitchen'. Oh well. All of this second hand smoke all day has me on edge, go figure. And just when I'd written them off, they bring out "a friend" to do "lay me down"- a song I bloody love. Shit. They just became the best band to play all night.
Cake-
This band is so delightfully strange. Points for an amazing stage presence and meaningful trumpet- plus a clappy thing. You can't forget the clappy thing. as shayne puts is, they blow people away with charismatic use of massive anti-charisma. All in all they were entirely wity and entirely enjoyable--of a bit sardonic.
Bad religion:
For some reason I expected this band to make more of an impact. "How could hell be any worse" indeed. They're not bad, per se. They're actually quite melodic, but the lead guitarist is wearing a christmas sweater with skulls on it, and the lead singer looks like an aging gym teacher (complete with bald spots, polo shirt, and muscular though older-looking body). You really can't say "punk rock" past 40. At least the others had the good sense to die young. My persistent question regarding this band, and I have yet to receive a suitable answer, is " since when did "punk rock" mean expensive brand name polos anyways?!?". Although, for all of their paradox, they finished pretty strong. At least there's that.
Jimmy Eat World:
Probably the most underrated band here. They're fantastic! I can't believe the lead singer can still pull off half the notes he does, but hey, billy does it - so it must be possible. The new song "little thing" is amazing. Its very touching and poignant, and coupled with the lighting makes for a very lovely atmosphere.
My Chemical Romance rocked my effing socks off. Seriously. They're so saucy in person, also I loved how Gerard Way used "shits"; it was attractive in a very brash way. They played all of their hits, and closed with the unexpected "cancer"- which he dedicated to his wife, that lucky woman. I envy the wives of great artists. They're with such passionate and creative men. I couldn't ever be a professional artist because of my above-all-rational nature, but I can adore those who do, and the partners of those I envy. Anyway, that was mcr.
The Smashing Pumpkins: need I say more? Corigan's son came out on stage, and he played a teary "landslide" on acoustic guitar. The only one all night. They should change the name of the show. Truly.
Day two:
"Quick, dye your hair red!"
'... I work for a fortune 500.' *glare*
"I demand red hair! Q_Q"
Shayne and I dined at a burger place and strolled the avenues of universal studios, shopping and snacking the afternoon away after a late wake up- and a later lunch. The doors opened at 5. And, then, it was time for the second night of the almost acoustic xmas to shred la to ribbons, again.
Night 2:
Sharpe and somebodies:
They seriously came out looking like a mini, musical, hippie commune-- but better dressed, and famous, still just as high though, and just as musically impaired. This was my first impression. Their maracas -trumpet-infectious keyboard combo grew on me eventually, though. As a redeeming factor, the female co-lead had a great jazzy voice, which was really quite good, and put me in a pleasant mood. That was of course until this peace-loving band inspired one of their fans to bring,and shake, her own tambourine. At that point I wanted to commit indiscriminate murder.
Shayne, if you're reading over my shoulder, I'm having a good time. I promise. They still look like a hippie commune.
The broken bells:
They remind me of a more contemporary "u2". I am absolutely going to buy their new cd, when I have more than $1.35 to my name. They, like the last band, are rather large. I wonder if that's popular now?
Temper trap:
They're pretty fantastic for an australian band. And they pulled the audience in almost instantaneously. Lost points for a male bassist with a ponytail though. The vocals and overall musical quality are solid though.
The neon trees:
Money talks, but style speaks louder- and dear god were their vocals (metaphorical and literal) in top shape tonight. Their set (complete with white icicle lights), costumes (xmas red detail and shimmery black) and fantastic showmanship were only compliments to their fantastic sound. Its so refreshing to see a relatively young band that is so...fabulous in every way. From the charismatic and flamboyant front man to the glamorous but powerful female drummer, I was completely blown away. You had me at "oh, woah!"
Florence and the machine:
Strong female vocals and a fairy-tale visual aesthetic mark this band. They're not what I would call my type, but they're not bad by any means, and might merit a second listen at another time.
The black keys:
These guys have a really cool sound. They came out running, and didn't drop the crowd's attention at all. Surprisingly, they put the drummer front and center. He's amazing, of course, but I've never seen a stage setup like that before.
Brandon flowers:
Eric:"oh hey, the lead from the killers"
Me: you knew that? I didn't even know that!
Its about that. He has a great voice, and sings great songs. He's probably sick of his day job by now. The acoustic "when you were young" and the trancy-version of "somebody told me" were a nice touch.
Vampire weekend:
Second time seeing them live, they just keep getting better. Still, my mind is decidedly somewhere else. I'm trying to determine who the un-billed guest is going to be; I'm going over in my mind who's available, who has an album out, who it might be....
Phoenix:
Came out playing. Lights show was spectacular. Jesus christ these people are headline material. Unexpectedly.
Sadly there was no surprise guest, which was a let-down, as much as anything could be after such a fantastic time.
These are my thoughts while waiting for the train out of Merced.
The men working at the station are talking amongst themselves. Listening to them is rather amusing- they're talking about Amtrak men who've lost their lives in the line of duty. I had no idea there was such a thing, imagine that. Every line of work has it's heroes I suppose.
A woman with loud, expressive eyebrows and two large faux designer bags just bustled into the station. Her long, black trench flapped wildly as she entered. Her husband (a stout, but formally dressed man) flapped around her a bit also, and then left without any fanfare. The only thing missing from this scene was a toy dog and too-large sunglasses.
Now things are calming down at the station; and I'm listening to the faraway 'dong' of station bells while a modest looking blond tells jokes to the man behind the reception class.
I have half an hour before my train comes.
I am here so early because of ride complications.
Thinking of Winter Break: I absolutely cannot wait. There are things here I wold like to be rid of for a while; there are people as well- senators and civilians alike.
There is an elderly woman and her equally elderly companion sitting across from me. I would like to imagine them old friends from school; now just wizened gossips-- but classy, refined with age.
One applies a matte red lipstick, a deep red wine color that matches her sweater beneath the black leather coat. A delicate gold cross peeks out around the edges of her opened coat, and ascents her attire flawlessly. Her tasteful and carefully maintained look is familiar to me, it reminds me of my own grandmother. In conversation to her companion, I hear her candidly admit her age-- 64 years she wears with impressive dignity.
I love the stories the elderly tell. As my eavesdropping continues, I hear of her experience entertaining a handsome, young soldier, many years ago. I can only imagine what that must have been like. Of course I want to know more, but I assume it's rude to ask when not invited. For this reason I stay as I am, observing and enjoying my place as a fly-on-the-wall.
The station is more busy now, and much more noisy. Three, maybe four conversations are overlapping, and competing for the observer's attention. I let it blend into the background, until the modest blond woman's cellphone snaps me to attention. The tune playing is "Tanks A Lot" by Third Eye Blind. How fitting.
I slept most of the train ride, and when I woke up I almost forgot my planner on the train in my half-awake haze. Of course, that would have meant disaster, considering that is the place where I had been keeping my tickets and travel provisions.
Boarding the bus I was still unsure of my surroundings, but I assuaged my uneasiness with more sleep, for as much of it as I could muster.The road was so bumpy mo notes came out looking like I'd been in the middle of an earthquake writing them, it wasn't pretty.
Following these thoughts, I met Shayne at Union Station, and we proceeded to check in at our hotel. The room we had booked was on the 21st floor-- a floor which required special clearance to reach (it was quite the honor). Of course it also came with an exceptionally well-stocked mini bar and fridge, of which we both took generous advantage. That in itself was glorious, but paled in comparison to the view from the top (an entire wall of the room was dedicated to viewing the city below; it was magnificent).
*The notes below are from the first day in the city, and below that again are the notes from the concert night one.*
The metro car stopped, and as I looked in, there was an entire car of young men in santa costumes, just standing there, chatting! Santas! All Shayne said to my look of shock was "welcome to la". I really love this town.
Spoke to an older man holding a rosary. Shayne says he thinks the man was Armenian; judging by his accent and newspaper I would say that sounds right. He seemed to have a very sensible view of the world, if perhaps a bit cynical. He reminded me a little of Shayne.
The santa mob exited three stops before us.
After that we hopped a fast moving train into little tokyo. I had overdressed for this day out, my sweater was way too warm for a day in the city, but nonetheless, I had an amazing time. We spent some time browsing kino kunia, and then headed upstairs to the second story of the plaza to get ramen. I swear, one bowl could last me an entire day. The sweets shop gave us the most lovely strawberry cheesecake, and a very sweet bottled coffee; it wasn't expensive either. We also bought dango-- my favorite snack. We also visited several anime video and merchandise stores. It was at one such store that I was able to do most of my christmas shopping. I even tricked Eric into telling me what he might like for xmas-- a feat otherwise not possible to accomplish. I managed to pick up the piano collection of FFXIII music I've been after for as long as I can remember. This was anything but a "cheap trip" . We lefty by metro car just as the sun was setting on our outing ...and what an adventure we had.
Then we headed back to the room to freshen up, change, and get ready for night one.
Night one:
A day to remember; it must be hard for them to open to such a bare audience. There are flashing red pins in the audience which makes for artificial red stars in the crowd; its incredibly pretty and wholly mesmerizing. The second song "have faith in me" is amazingly compelling.
Switchfoot: of course they open with meant to live- and then a "sabatoge" cover? I never would have thought to expect that. "Dare you to move" followed- from the middle of the crowd, high notes and all, but not before "stealing" a santa hat, and perching himself atop a mid-level seat, and surrounding himself with adoring fans. Amazing. And then "the sound"- dedicated on the principle of love. How charismatic, transcendent, perfect.
Anberlin on third: I don't recognize their opening song, but the drums and bass are so heavy I can feel the beat pounding all throughout the room and myself. They're really energetic this year, and I believe the crowd feels it as well, the sentiments remind me of falling in "like"- less painful obsession but all of the flirty fancy. The song off their new album is quite good.
The dirty heads:
Apparently this is what fragments of sublime left to do. I didn't know; its too much stoner rock and not enough actual music for my taste. At least sublime has a sax. Although to their credit, they have bongos. That's pretty bitchen'. Oh well. All of this second hand smoke all day has me on edge, go figure. And just when I'd written them off, they bring out "a friend" to do "lay me down"- a song I bloody love. Shit. They just became the best band to play all night.
Cake-
This band is so delightfully strange. Points for an amazing stage presence and meaningful trumpet- plus a clappy thing. You can't forget the clappy thing. as shayne puts is, they blow people away with charismatic use of massive anti-charisma. All in all they were entirely wity and entirely enjoyable--of a bit sardonic.
Bad religion:
For some reason I expected this band to make more of an impact. "How could hell be any worse" indeed. They're not bad, per se. They're actually quite melodic, but the lead guitarist is wearing a christmas sweater with skulls on it, and the lead singer looks like an aging gym teacher (complete with bald spots, polo shirt, and muscular though older-looking body). You really can't say "punk rock" past 40. At least the others had the good sense to die young. My persistent question regarding this band, and I have yet to receive a suitable answer, is " since when did "punk rock" mean expensive brand name polos anyways?!?". Although, for all of their paradox, they finished pretty strong. At least there's that.
Jimmy Eat World:
Probably the most underrated band here. They're fantastic! I can't believe the lead singer can still pull off half the notes he does, but hey, billy does it - so it must be possible. The new song "little thing" is amazing. Its very touching and poignant, and coupled with the lighting makes for a very lovely atmosphere.
My Chemical Romance rocked my effing socks off. Seriously. They're so saucy in person, also I loved how Gerard Way used "shits"; it was attractive in a very brash way. They played all of their hits, and closed with the unexpected "cancer"- which he dedicated to his wife, that lucky woman. I envy the wives of great artists. They're with such passionate and creative men. I couldn't ever be a professional artist because of my above-all-rational nature, but I can adore those who do, and the partners of those I envy. Anyway, that was mcr.
The Smashing Pumpkins: need I say more? Corigan's son came out on stage, and he played a teary "landslide" on acoustic guitar. The only one all night. They should change the name of the show. Truly.
Day two:
"Quick, dye your hair red!"
'... I work for a fortune 500.' *glare*
"I demand red hair! Q_Q"
Shayne and I dined at a burger place and strolled the avenues of universal studios, shopping and snacking the afternoon away after a late wake up- and a later lunch. The doors opened at 5. And, then, it was time for the second night of the almost acoustic xmas to shred la to ribbons, again.
Night 2:
Sharpe and somebodies:
They seriously came out looking like a mini, musical, hippie commune-- but better dressed, and famous, still just as high though, and just as musically impaired. This was my first impression. Their maracas -trumpet-infectious keyboard combo grew on me eventually, though. As a redeeming factor, the female co-lead had a great jazzy voice, which was really quite good, and put me in a pleasant mood. That was of course until this peace-loving band inspired one of their fans to bring,and shake, her own tambourine. At that point I wanted to commit indiscriminate murder.
Shayne, if you're reading over my shoulder, I'm having a good time. I promise. They still look like a hippie commune.
The broken bells:
They remind me of a more contemporary "u2". I am absolutely going to buy their new cd, when I have more than $1.35 to my name. They, like the last band, are rather large. I wonder if that's popular now?
Temper trap:
They're pretty fantastic for an australian band. And they pulled the audience in almost instantaneously. Lost points for a male bassist with a ponytail though. The vocals and overall musical quality are solid though.
The neon trees:
Money talks, but style speaks louder- and dear god were their vocals (metaphorical and literal) in top shape tonight. Their set (complete with white icicle lights), costumes (xmas red detail and shimmery black) and fantastic showmanship were only compliments to their fantastic sound. Its so refreshing to see a relatively young band that is so...fabulous in every way. From the charismatic and flamboyant front man to the glamorous but powerful female drummer, I was completely blown away. You had me at "oh, woah!"
Florence and the machine:
Strong female vocals and a fairy-tale visual aesthetic mark this band. They're not what I would call my type, but they're not bad by any means, and might merit a second listen at another time.
The black keys:
These guys have a really cool sound. They came out running, and didn't drop the crowd's attention at all. Surprisingly, they put the drummer front and center. He's amazing, of course, but I've never seen a stage setup like that before.
Brandon flowers:
Eric:"oh hey, the lead from the killers"
Me: you knew that? I didn't even know that!
Its about that. He has a great voice, and sings great songs. He's probably sick of his day job by now. The acoustic "when you were young" and the trancy-version of "somebody told me" were a nice touch.
Vampire weekend:
Second time seeing them live, they just keep getting better. Still, my mind is decidedly somewhere else. I'm trying to determine who the un-billed guest is going to be; I'm going over in my mind who's available, who has an album out, who it might be....
Phoenix:
Came out playing. Lights show was spectacular. Jesus christ these people are headline material. Unexpectedly.
Sadly there was no surprise guest, which was a let-down, as much as anything could be after such a fantastic time.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Gimme Sympathy
I worked way too hard on that last final, truly. But that's done and all that remains are the projects and the essays. I feel that I can handle those. At the very least I got tonight as a breather between acts of maddness.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Every Day is Forced
It's repetitious to say that blogging every day has become a strain. That's an understatement in the greatest possible degree. Thank GOD stats will be over and done with tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Everything's not lost
Finals week is in full swing, and I am on day three of my blog-a-day challenge. My heart won't stop pounding. I have so much do to right now, so many huge deadlines coming up, and all at once, this racing in my chest is an affirmation of life; and all of a sudden the day's gone away from me. I think I'm finally getting a hang of the stats material, and of course also congressional politics...I'm just super nervous that I'm underestimating the material and that I might miss something if I'm not careful. I can't believe it's so late. I won't get much sleep tonight if I'm not careful. I think I'll get coffee before congressional. Three days remain until the concert, and still I haven't even prepared for that. I'm not even thinking about it yet. I'm completely and totally focused on these two finals first and foremost.
First and foremost, and then the concert.Three days remaining...
First and foremost, and then the concert.Three days remaining...
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Day Two
This might sound forced, in fact it probably does. I'll work on it.
[edits]
Another day has passed, but not without trial. I'm finding it's a stretch to pump out a blog every day. They always end up being mundane, or pathos-laden rants, or worse (that nasty of all big-bad-words: personal.). That's the nature of the blogging beast, I guess.
Finals week is seriously trying my patience, in case that hasn't been made abundantly clear.
I'm expecting the quality of this blog-a-day project to dramatically improve after my last final. I suppose this would also be a good place to put my concert count-down.
Annual Winter Concert days remaining: 4...
[edits]
Another day has passed, but not without trial. I'm finding it's a stretch to pump out a blog every day. They always end up being mundane, or pathos-laden rants, or worse (that nasty of all big-bad-words: personal.). That's the nature of the blogging beast, I guess.
Finals week is seriously trying my patience, in case that hasn't been made abundantly clear.
I'm expecting the quality of this blog-a-day project to dramatically improve after my last final. I suppose this would also be a good place to put my concert count-down.
Annual Winter Concert days remaining: 4...
A Blog a Day Keeps the (head) Doctor Away
I'm a little sick of keeping these obsessive finals worries to myself "What will he put on the final? Have I prepared enough?" I can't stop those worries as the deadline comes. but they are simple, manageable, understandable. Logic is cold and clean, and for that I'm grateful. Finals week is in many ways a savior.
I'm taking this month-long challenge, hoping that it will lead to personal discovery. Right now all it's leading to is a headache.
I'm hoping tomorrow is easier, in terms of the rigor of studying and the time I have to commit to the work.
I'm taking this month-long challenge, hoping that it will lead to personal discovery. Right now all it's leading to is a headache.
I'm hoping tomorrow is easier, in terms of the rigor of studying and the time I have to commit to the work.
Friday, December 3, 2010
A Day In The Life
Every day begins new; very rarely do we have to drag the previous night's garbage- the drama from the day before, the pain from yesterday, etc with us. The only people who hold on to that kind of feeling are the self-loathing and the masochistic.
I suppose in this way, the title of the blog should be 'catharsis'- but I've experienced nothing quite so cleansing, just some diet coke and an aspirin in a warm room the night before an exciting outing. Quelling my minor headache was first and foremost, and then it was on to preparing for the onslaught of finals: outlining, writing, the works-- this is just one more night of peace before the finals storm.
Bliss, and peace.
I suppose in this way, the title of the blog should be 'catharsis'- but I've experienced nothing quite so cleansing, just some diet coke and an aspirin in a warm room the night before an exciting outing. Quelling my minor headache was first and foremost, and then it was on to preparing for the onslaught of finals: outlining, writing, the works-- this is just one more night of peace before the finals storm.
Bliss, and peace.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Ja-Pan!
Nothing can beat the (literal) breaking of bread with my fellow otaku. It's a pleasure and an honor. These are the people who have, and can, restore my faith in humanity. I can't wait for the SF trip this weekend! YATTA~!
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