Don't wake up, won't wake up, can't wake up, no don't wake me up

I don't want to be awake for reality right now, I would give anything to be relieved of it. I know how petty and irresponsible this sounds. But reality is underwhelming, and I'm left just wondering "for what"? I hate having to work as much as I do, I hate it, and the job I work, and the people I work with, mostly. One of my closest female friends who, when she's not force-feeding me sweets, gets no end of joy fucking with me and my image in the public sphere.

I've been far too long far too far away from the group of friends who are actually good for me (I'm sorry!).

That is to say nothing of Shay or Jake, though they both in their own way compound my misery recently. I am struggling very hard to just make it through most days, let alone live up to anyone's expectations. Worse yet, I've got to manage without seeming to break a sweat, but I'm under no pressure, really!

On that note- Jake's up this morning, to stand out side of Kollegian urging people to vote for him. He's putting in just enough effort to feel crushed when Kevin wins his re-election. That little misogynistic bastard is better organized, and has a flood of people working for him, not to mention willing to break the rules when us commissioners aren't looking. He's just out-played Jake, who would have overtaken him if he'd started earlier and run a more aggressive campaign. Jake could have shrugged off his defeat if he'd remained solidly un-engaged; but he started working hard, right up at the end. This places him in a bad position because he didn't do the work as he should have in the beginning and didn't put enough effort in to give him the yield he wanted, but he did work just enough so his heart would break when it didn't happen. And I'm going to have to pick up the pieces.

Also, school is all rushing at me with scary deadlines, my laptop smells like fish and I'm officially fasting for the next week, I want reality to go away and never return, but I can't hide. I can't and I wont, even if what I meet it with is less than my best, I will meet it.