I can't say I've achieved much since the last time I posted, but I will admit this much, I am in a better place than I was last year; this admission means a lot to me, since any improvement is positive.
The cold is settling in in the house, which must be symbolic in a way.
Jake and I are closer than before, thanks to my roommate situation clearing up. I'm glad I don't have to be nervous anymore to live in my own home. Hopefully now I will be able to get some work done. I owe it to him, and also to myself.
I am, however worried about a vuage matter which I will allude to here but have ultimately no place commenting on. It is a gathering storm in my hometown and brownouts. If there is a storm on the horizon, and i fear there might be, then I will hide until the thawing out of the nuclear winter, and clean up what remains-- what else can I do..?
On another note, I have discovered the recurring script that keeps fucking with relationships- especially mine in the past. She agrees that they will both be free, he agrees that this freedom will not come at the expense of hurting one another.
He exercises his freedom in a way that hurts her. clash of wills, roll on snare drum.
SHE:how can you do this when you know it is hurting me?
HE: how can you try to limit my freedom?
SHE: but it makes me feel awful
HE you are trying to manipulate me
she, he, she, he repeat-x; repeat-y
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